'Twas long ago in the land of Scot,
I came to seek the quest I sought:
The Holy Golden Tater Tot --
The one divine, the one begot
In the Prime Potato's garden plot
Before all space and time was wrought.
So 'cross the globe my feet had trot
Until the trail my senses caught,
And tracked it to a vacant lot
Behind a bar -- "The Captain's Yacht" --
Where on a humble, simple cot
Reclined my sacred tater tot.
Toward me there a glance she shot,
Which made my stomach twist a knot,
Then smiling said, "You silly sot!
My name is Muckletubliot,
But you may simply call me Dot."
At first my fears were prickly hot,
But then she made me worry not
So there I found myself a spot,
And sat upon a flower pot,
To listen to the things she taught --
The lessons of a cosmic plot
Where she, an ancient cosmonaut --
An asteroid, a star pilot --
Had flown the cosmos like a shot;
A wondrous path, a journey fraught
With many dangers she had fought.
Then one day she grew distraught,
And so from that day on she sought
A place of peace -- a Camelot --
And so to Earth came Tater Dot.
"And so my friend, my Lancelot,
These things to you I've gladly brought
'Cuz all I am and all I've got
Cannot be borrowed, sold or bought
For in me lies each trace of thought
Of unknown worlds and worlds forgot."
She turned away, a tear to blot,
(I think a glimpse of pride I caught)
As she continued her onslaught --
"I know I've said more than I ought,
But in this life this is my lot --
To be a tater ne'er to rot --
The Universal Life's mascot."
At that I stood from where I'd squat
Embracing Muckletubliot,
For I had found the quest I'd sought:
This wise and ancient as-spud-naut --
The Holy Golden Tater Dot!
~July 11, 1994
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