So I Can Give You Me

I can't believe how much it hurts
My heart split open wide
I miss you so my darling
I am sick and raw inside. 
It's only a few hours more
Until I'm back with you,
But I can't sleep or concentrate 
And don't know what to do.
Am I truly worthy 
Of the love you give to me?
Please don't listen to that voice -
My inadequacy.
That voice that says, "You see?
How could she love someone like you?
You've done it now, I told you so,
This time you're truly screwed."
So this is my great sacrifice
At the altar of our love -
I burn away these feelings 
And these thoughts I'm speaking of,
Relinquishing the fallacies
I'd taken as my truth,
And the sense of worthlessness
I'd been taught in my youth. 
I give up ways of thinking
And of dowsing my own flame
So I can stand before you
Never doubtful, without shame,
Embracing full my power 
Everything I truly be,
So I can give my greatest gift -
So I can give you me. 

11, April, 2015

Blessed Aphrodite

Blessed Aphrodite will you help me understand

With the vast amount of hearts that beat at your command

Why must mine be tied to one that I may never have?

Is there not a healing spell or a heart-ache salve?

My request is not unique, you've heard this one before--

A heart broken wide open praying to be whole once more.

But my case is different, there is no unrequited love,

I've never known another whose heart fit mine like a glove

My heart is truly hers and here's the thing M'lady dear

I feel her heart is surely mine, she is my Guinevere.

So then the question still remains -- Whose heart took cupid's shot?

Does this make me Arthur or am I Sir Lancelot?

For to another she is bound and honor shan't allow

My crossing over any line to compromise her vow

So, though fanning the spark of hope may simply seem unwise

Her words may speak of love for him, yet touches not her eyes

By contrast when she greets me I watch her whole face beam

And when we speak of future plans, her tear drops tend to stream

I know I have no say in the affairs twixt her and mate

I also know that I must do more than just sit and wait.

Please tell me dear Goddess what it is that I must do

For the sake of Honor, Love, the Beautiful, the True?

Dear one, do not close your heart to larger frames of Love
For you can not imagine the wonders I am cap'ble of
On scales and from perspectives that would make your sweet heart spin
But always then brought home at last to rest in you again.
Challenges may well arise to make the heart grow strong
But does this conflict you describe not hint thy path is wrong?

The love you seek is free flowing, 'gainst which obstacles fall,

But this is not an obstacle, dear heart you've hit a wall. 

And isn't that tremendous news? You know where not to go. 

It really is that easy,  just surrender to the flow
For if there's too much effort, here's the lesson you must learn:

Love must be received, it is nothing you can earn.

So relax and trust, my love, thy boat within the stream

For soon this love will carry you to everything you dream. 

Started 2012ish

Finished 22 Jan, 2015

Holding Up The Sky

I hold your heart with open hands

In case it needs to fly

And if it needs to spread its wings

I'll be holding up the sky

And if my wishes resonate

With those of the Divine

When comes the time, your heart to roost

Return it will to mine

~January 13, 2015

I CAN'T BECAUSE

I can't sleep because
My heart is pounding
And I can't breathe because
I feel I'm drowning
    In a river I can't see
    What the heck's come over me?

I can't eat because
My tummy's funny
And I can't weep because
The sky is sunny
    Even though there might be rain
    It shines ever in my brain

I can't think because
My head is fuzzy
That thing she said
What did it mean and was she
    Serious, I think,
    Or did she text it with a wink?

But wait I'm calming and my pulse is slowing
My mind is drifting and to sleep I'm going
And in my dreams I see a figure blowing
    A kiss, for goodness sake!
    And suddenly I'm wide awake!

And I can't sleep because...

~January 3, 2015